It has been six months since I last had a drink.
As this milestone has approached, I have had a lot of different things on my mind – wonderful things! – recent changes, realizations, shifts in perspective. So much I have started writing about and haven’t finished yet. But instead of pressuring myself to finish, instead of rambling on about all the change and junk… I’m just going to say this. For tonight, just this…
I am happier today than I ever thought possible. I knew. I always knew. That if I could just rid my life of alcohol, that underneath, I was a deeply joyful, optimistic, vibrant person. Someone who is not prone to melancholy or depression or getting lost in my own head. A peaceful, generous, happy happy happy woman.
Well, here I am.
I always thought I knew what it could be. But this is far beyond what I could have imagined. There are moments I am so happy I could burst into tears. Or burst into song. Or burst into spontaneous laughter.
Life is wonderful and awesome and everything and nothing like I expected it would be without alcohol in it. I don’t miss it at all. I am proud of myself today, I really am. And, as always, so profoundly grateful.