(Running/Physical Goals are here.)
- Be more open to friendship, be myself, be more vulnerable, stop fearing rejection to the point of paralysis.
- Work hard on my relationship with my mom.
- Love Steve with my whole heart, unconditionally, unreservedly, the way he loves me.
- Let go. Stop worrying. Relax. Laugh more. BE HAPPY. Enjoy the life I have created and let myself believe that serenity and happiness are here to stay and stop trying to fight them.
These sound like a motivational poster, to be sure, but there’s no way around it: I have had some painful wake-up calls lately about how frightened I still am, how guarded, impatient, unhappy, always trying to create misery in my life before misery can get me first, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, in every possible way.
So. I have some things to change and I am going to change them. These changes are not ones I can list and quantify, but I know what they are. And I hope in a few months that I can say I am freer and more joyful than I have been in the last half of this year. A worthy goal for the new year, indeed.